My friends and I have this on going joke about "you know how I know we're old" then follow up with something that wouldn't have bothered us when we were in our teens/twenties that drive us crazy now... it's based on jokes from
The Forty Year Old Virigin and if you haven't seen that particular flick, stop whatever you're doing and watch it. Prepare for lots of laughs. I plan to update this post as frequently as we come up with them, so check back.
at
Yogurt Creations a build your own dessert chain where you serve yourself and pay by weight after you've filled your cup with frozen yogurt and toppings...
"You know how I know we're old?... watching that teenager eat her yogurt before weighing and paying is pissing me off... younger Me would have thought it was a fantastic idea"
at girl's night getting ready to watch a movie
"You know how I know we're old?...I just called the DVD player a VCR and the conversation never paused"
after girls' night when I was sick with vertigo
"You know... when Carrie has to hold your arm and walk you to your car so don't fall down"
...actually having vertigo might be an indicator too...
"You know... We actually know that Romeo & Juliet is a tragedy not a love story"
"You know... Chelsea Handler isn't even 10 years older than us, and that bitch is old"
"You know...parents actually trust me to chaperone their kids on overnight school trips"
"You know... we're older than the cast of Old School (when the movie was released)"
"You know... I just thought that an icy hot rub down on my shoulders would be amazing right now"
"You know... This song is totally about me:
http://youtu.be/YSnDJ7exSO0 (it's a parody of T. Swift's 22, called 32)
"You know... we carry white wine into the movies for "girl's night" at 3:45 pm"
"You know... I now look for sunscreen with an SPF in the double digits (and we aren't talking teens), cover my face when out in the sun, and the first sunburn of the season is a disappointment and not the goal of the weekend"
"You know... two glasses of wine and I'm drunk... and have a massive hangover the next day"
"You know... I no longer look forward to staying up all night, I'd rather sleep in"
"You know... my idea of a great birthday party no longer includes going on pub crawls and expensive dinners, take out and a bottle (or multiple) of wine with great friends and being able to actually have a conversation with the people I'm with make for a fantastic evening."
"You know... it's taking more concealer to cover up the dark circles under my eyes and harder to pass off the grey hairs as platinum highlights."
"You know... I remember when Oregon Trail was a black screen with green dots, and there were no Matrix references"
"You know... I used a typewriter at my first job"
"You know... I know that "blow on it and try again" isn't always a sexual innuendo" (original Nintendo/Duck Hunt ftw)
"You know... when I hear someone mention "The Breakfast Club" I think of the John Hughes movie and not a sandwich at Jack in the Box"
"You know... these kids didn't just forget about Dre, they don't even know who he is outside of a Dr. Pepper commercial"
"You know... these kids didn't know that Michael Jackson has a famous sister, Janet... Miss Jackson if you're nasty"
"You know... these kids didn't know that Gwen Stefani was part of No Doubt BEFORE her solo career"
The Elitist and I were discussing this very thing the other night and we thought it would be an amazing business idea to create a company (perhaps a nonprofit charity, save the trees type thing) where you can plant a tree to replace the wasted breath you've spent on a particular insignificant other. My mind took brain storming to hurricane levels and I came up with some types of plants that could be planted. Break my heart? I'm breaking ground on a Vegetation Meditation Garden to get over you, and create cleaner air for future generations, who's winning now?
