it's okay to keep reading, I'm not going to actually post a photo... just a little commentary on the phenomenon that struck social media a couple months ago... yeah, I'm late to the game... no I'm not participating (or even really sitting on the sidelines cheering people on).
Anyway... when I started hearing about the hashtag trending over social media I was dumbfounded. Not only was I unable to comprehend why it was trending, I was sad that the world is turning into a place where there is no privacy, nothing is special, and there is no real one on one intimacy anymore, we have literally invited the world into our bed. Why would anyone want to share that? Why would anyone want to see that? Are you REALLY so connected to your online persona that after sex that the first thing you think of is photographically documenting it for prosperity and public consumption? Seriously... why?????
Then one morning I got it. Well a tiny part of it anyway. I still don't understand the need to share that moment with the masses, but what I totally 100% understand is the want to preserve that feeling of intimacy. I can completely wrap my mind around wanting to have visual evidence of that perfect moment. Everyone has bad days and maybe having an opportunity to look back on a time when you felt that fantastic could cure even the worst moods.
Then the cold hard truth of reality sets in and I think about the birds nest my hair probably is, the makeup smeared all over my face, and remember exactly why some moments are better lived than captured in digital pixels forever. I love retreating to fantasy land and relive those feelings just like anyone else would, thankfully I have a vivid imagination and don't need a photo app to remember.
Showing posts with label sex. Show all posts
Showing posts with label sex. Show all posts
Saturday, April 18, 2015
Friday, March 1, 2013
This One Is For the Girls
Queue Martina McBride's girl anthem at any time... If you're a regular here at Adventures you'll notice that I've tackled this subject a few times, in my first blog, in my subsequent Girl Blog posts 1 & 2, and my rants about being treated like an object, and there are more than just the ones I've linked here. Some might think that I'm repeating myself, or maybe call me a self indulgent feminist, or a ball busting frigid bitch. I don't know... I don't particularly care. I will continue to post what is in my heart and mind until the world has changed for the better, so as long as we coast along the status quo prepare yourselves for a loud, opinionated, independent woman. Consider yourselves duly warned.
Lessons for the New Generation of Women
- Learn to love and respect yourselves, because no one else will if you don't. If you allow others to walk all over you they will. It isn't always easy to be strong and to stand up for yourselves, but it is worth the fight.
- Be independent. This doesn't mean you shouldn't have someone helping you carry the load some times. Relationships are fantastic when they're healthy, but you should never depend on someone for your survival. Get an education, learn how to balance your checkbook, be able to cook your own meals, and pay your own bills. Forever isn't guaranteed and if that person you depended suddenly isn't there anymore it'll be easier to pick up the pieces and move on if you already have the skill sets in place.
- Be an active participant in life. If something bothers you speak out against it. If something speaks to your heart and inspires you, be vocal for it. Don't let things pass you by because you don't think you can make a difference, you'll be surprised at the sound one tiny voice can make.
- Love your sisters, and not just the biological ones. I know I've written about this before, and I probably will again, but when life gets you down there is no one in life that has your back more than a good girlfriend. She understands the emotions you're dealing with and how sometimes you just need someone to sit next to you to feel better. She understands the need for silence as much as the need to scream. Men can be fantastic support systems for the women they love, but they don't always understand that it takes more than a minute to be okay and that sometimes you have to cry and be angry before you get back to being your normal self. Your girls will understand because they have been there.
- Don't let your dreams be trampled on. So many times I see woman give up things that they love for other's hopes and dreams... or even worse because they feel their dreams aren't logical. Maybe your dream was to be the next American Idol, but you can't carry a tune in a bucket...that doesn't mean you should stop singing all together. Sing your heart out whenever you get the chance. Maybe you wanted to be an artist, but your work isn't selling and you need to pay the bills, so go get that job that will keep your bank account in the black, but make sure you have the time to create, even if it's just for yourself. I think we've all gotten lost from time to time, but if you don't figure out some sort of outlet to make yourself happy and content you'll just be filled with resentment and that's no way to live life.
- Don't be afraid of your mistakes. Nothing teaches you how to grow and be better than falling down a few times. Every scar has it's own story, you can choose to heal or to pick at the scabs and bleed forever. Failing builds more character than winning, and it's best to learn early in life how to deal with sadness and defeat than to have life kick you in the teeth as an adult and to not know how to deal.
- Develop a good poker face and never let your enemies see you sweat. This world is tough, you have to be tougher. I'm not saying emotions are bad and should be hidden, but sometimes reading a situation and thinking about your reaction can help you out more than a spontaneous outburst.
- It's not shameful to ask for help. This doesn't counter my independence stance at all, it's impossible to do everything and to please everyone. There are occasions where you need to call in for back up, to delegate, and to take off your superwoman cape and to let someone else save the day. This doesn't mean you're weak or incapable, just that you're strong and smart enough to know when to say "enough is enough."
- Define yourself.... even if you haven't figured life out yet. Be comfortable in your own skin, it's the only one you're ever going to get. If you don't want people to think of you as a "mean girl" don't be a mean girl. You don't want to be seen as a doormat? Don't let people walk all over you. It's not always as easy as that, but if you want to be perceived (or don't want to be) as a certain type of person you have to figure out a way to become that person.
- Check your baggage at the door. This is super hard, not even going to try to deny it, but if you don't let the new people in your life speak for themselves and are constantly comparing them to people of your past (good or bad) you'll never get to really know the person standing in front of you.
- No one is entitled to anything. Ever. Grow up, get a job and be responsible, just because you want something doesn't make it yours until you earn it. Same thing with people, just because you want someone (or they want you) you have to earn your place in their life (or they have to earn a place in yours). It isn't hard to get that spot, be kind, be honest and trustworthy, be supportive when someone needs you, be a good friend.
I'll leave you with this today, there is no bigger insult than someone telling you that you're boring and forgettable. Make your mark and carve your name in the history of the world.
Friday, October 19, 2012
You Know What Chaps My Hide
I know a lot of this has already been said (not necessarily here by me, but it has been circulating the Internet for months now... maybe longer), but with the encouragement of The Elitist I decided to let the fire breathing monster out of her cage again.
Its a fairly short rant today, the first a minor annoyance and then it escalates from there.
October is Awareness Month: For seemingly EVERYTHING. Anti-bullying month, Breast Cancer Awareness (more on this later), Lost Children, etc. It seems like every time I log into one of the various social networks I'm a member of I'm being told that in honor of October's ________ Awareness Month I need to take a moment of silence for {insert cause here}. There are 12 months out of the year people, spread your shit out. Okay, sorry, that was harsh and mean for any one of the millions of people who have been affected by whatever cause they're supporting, and I'm not saying your cause isn't worthwhile... it probably is, but why is October so special?
Breast Cancer and it's Pretty Pink Ribbons: First of all before you jump on my case for being a heartless jerk, let me say this FUCK CANCER. It's scary, deadly, and as of yet we don't have a solid cure... yes there are treatments that might force it into remission, but it's like a time bomb ready to go off at any time. Breast cancer (and all other forms) is serious business and I feel like "pinkifying" the world for one month out of the year makes light of it. T-shirts that say "Save the Boobies/Ta-Ta's/Second Base" across the chest is not only sexualizing something that is clearly NOT SEXY but it's reducing women to one piece of their anatomy. Women are more than their breasts. I've never seen a pair of men's sweat pants that say "Cure Colon Cancer" or "Protect the Prostate" across the ass, so why are we turning a very serious medical issue into something campy at best. Yes, sex sells and gets people's attention, and sure it will bring dollars in... but just because you can get attention that way doesn't make it the right way.
Professional sports teams, firefighters, and other companies spend thousands of dollars purchasing pink uniforms for their employees, who does this help? I know they have the right to spend their money on whatever they want, and it's not up to me to decide what their budget gets allocated toward, BUT I think it would help a lot more people if they would donate whatever funds they use to purchase uniforms that they only wear for one month out of the year to cancer research. To something that will actually help cure cancer instead of just giving it attention. Let's fund research instead of rallies. We're aware, now let's do something about it.
Why is Feminist Such a Dirty Word?: Is it because it conjures up an image of an angry woman in a pant suit? Or a hairy-legged, man-hating, sandalwood smelling, anti-deodorant-wearing, bra-burning hippie woman? Is that why strong women want to distance themselves from that word?
According to Dictionary.com a feminist is someone who advocates social, political, legal, and economic rights for women equal to those of men.
Doesn't seem like such a bad thing does it? There's no mention of hating men, wanting more rights or privileges than men, no requirements for setting your bra on fire or tossing out your razors ladies.
Do you want equal rights? Do you want equal pay for equal work? Do you want to be treated the same as your male counterparts? Do you want to be able to take your car to the mechanic and not get ripped off because you have a vagina? Do you want your daughter to grow up in a world where she has the same educational and career opportunities as your sons? Do you think your sister should be able to walk to her apartment at night after her last class without getting raped on her college campus? Do you think that your best friend should be able to have a cocktail at a bar or party without the fear of getting drugged? Do you want your major medical decisions to be between you and your doctor without political interference? Do you think that its ridiculous that single mothers are currently being blamed for society's problems by a certain political figure? Congratulations, here's your membership card to Club Feminist. Men are welcome here too.
Its a fairly short rant today, the first a minor annoyance and then it escalates from there.
October is Awareness Month: For seemingly EVERYTHING. Anti-bullying month, Breast Cancer Awareness (more on this later), Lost Children, etc. It seems like every time I log into one of the various social networks I'm a member of I'm being told that in honor of October's ________ Awareness Month I need to take a moment of silence for {insert cause here}. There are 12 months out of the year people, spread your shit out. Okay, sorry, that was harsh and mean for any one of the millions of people who have been affected by whatever cause they're supporting, and I'm not saying your cause isn't worthwhile... it probably is, but why is October so special?
Breast Cancer and it's Pretty Pink Ribbons: First of all before you jump on my case for being a heartless jerk, let me say this FUCK CANCER. It's scary, deadly, and as of yet we don't have a solid cure... yes there are treatments that might force it into remission, but it's like a time bomb ready to go off at any time. Breast cancer (and all other forms) is serious business and I feel like "pinkifying" the world for one month out of the year makes light of it. T-shirts that say "Save the Boobies/Ta-Ta's/Second Base" across the chest is not only sexualizing something that is clearly NOT SEXY but it's reducing women to one piece of their anatomy. Women are more than their breasts. I've never seen a pair of men's sweat pants that say "Cure Colon Cancer" or "Protect the Prostate" across the ass, so why are we turning a very serious medical issue into something campy at best. Yes, sex sells and gets people's attention, and sure it will bring dollars in... but just because you can get attention that way doesn't make it the right way.
Professional sports teams, firefighters, and other companies spend thousands of dollars purchasing pink uniforms for their employees, who does this help? I know they have the right to spend their money on whatever they want, and it's not up to me to decide what their budget gets allocated toward, BUT I think it would help a lot more people if they would donate whatever funds they use to purchase uniforms that they only wear for one month out of the year to cancer research. To something that will actually help cure cancer instead of just giving it attention. Let's fund research instead of rallies. We're aware, now let's do something about it.
Why is Feminist Such a Dirty Word?: Is it because it conjures up an image of an angry woman in a pant suit? Or a hairy-legged, man-hating, sandalwood smelling, anti-deodorant-wearing, bra-burning hippie woman? Is that why strong women want to distance themselves from that word?
According to Dictionary.com a feminist is someone who advocates social, political, legal, and economic rights for women equal to those of men.
Doesn't seem like such a bad thing does it? There's no mention of hating men, wanting more rights or privileges than men, no requirements for setting your bra on fire or tossing out your razors ladies.
Do you want equal rights? Do you want equal pay for equal work? Do you want to be treated the same as your male counterparts? Do you want to be able to take your car to the mechanic and not get ripped off because you have a vagina? Do you want your daughter to grow up in a world where she has the same educational and career opportunities as your sons? Do you think your sister should be able to walk to her apartment at night after her last class without getting raped on her college campus? Do you think that your best friend should be able to have a cocktail at a bar or party without the fear of getting drugged? Do you want your major medical decisions to be between you and your doctor without political interference? Do you think that its ridiculous that single mothers are currently being blamed for society's problems by a certain political figure? Congratulations, here's your membership card to Club Feminist. Men are welcome here too.
Monday, July 16, 2012
Girl Blog: 2 of 3 Looking for a Few Good Men
I know initially my plan for my 3 part girl series was going to focus on the political issues surrounding being a woman in 2012, but I changed my mind. If you are interested in all the legislation surrounding vaginas as of late I urge you to check out UniteWomen.Org there is a lot of great information there and a lot of hard working women that are fighting the good fight to protect our rights as adults who are capable of making our own decisions about our bodies, lives, and families. Its not that I don't find the issues at hand extremely important, the evasiveness disturbing, and the unbalanced nature of health care coverages appalling, its just that I think that they can do a much better job of explaining everything without resorting to name calling than I can.
I have decided that since I had the rant about how hard it is to be a woman these days, I thought I'd try my hand at a counterpoint. Not necessarily a post about how "its equally hard to be a man" or "why are all the good ones taken" or "what the fuck has happened to the Y chromosome?" just some thoughts and ideas about the men of 2012, the good, the bad, and crazy.
Where Have All The Cowboys Gone?
I read an article on Jezebel.com this morning that was about how we as a society need to redefine the term "manly" it was written in response to a NY Times article stating that men need to rediscover their inner Don Draper. I think they both have valid points and that they are both silly at the same time. Maybe we do need to redefine what it means to be manly, but defining it as a male who gets manicures/pedicures and his chest and eyebrows waxed isn't going to do it for me. Give me Paul Bunyan over Paulie D any day of the week. I like that the general hygiene of males has significantly evolved since cro-magnum days, but I don't want to share my make up remover with my lover. I want to feel safe and secure with my guy, I want to know that even though I can take care of myself, he wants to take care of me (I'll be loving and supportive of him, I want that in return). I like guys with calloused hands, who are gainfully employed, guys who will open the door for me, who respect me and my opinions (even if said opinions differ from theirs), laugh at awkward situations, are secure in their own skin, and don't need to be drunk to have a good time. The rest of the stuff is just details. Doesn't seem like a lot to ask for.
What I don't want is someone who lives on his parents' couch, who's never had a real job, and would rather get loaded than become a contributing member of society. I'm not in college anymore, that is no longer how I define what it takes to be a man. Pay your bills, show up to work on time, and have your own place (or at the very least have roommates that didn't participate in your conception). Also? Have a valid driver's license; DUIs aren't sexy. They don't make you look cool, they make you irresponsible. I'm not saying you have to drive a Ranger Rover, but you won't be impressing anyone if you roll up on a BMX.
I guess my best definition of what a man is to me is some who has outgrown his little boy stage, someone who loves his mama, but doesn't need her to cook him dinner every night.
Please Don't Accuse me of Emotional Terrorism
I had an ex years ago who would say mean things to me, make me cry, and then accuse me of using my tears to make him feel bad. He called me a manipulative emotional terrorist, because my reaction to his asshole behavior was to be vulnerable.
Emotions are not a bad thing. Be emotional, at least its real. Don't be a jerk and expect me not to react. If you're sad, stressed, upset, happy, whatever, let me know, don't be the King of Stoicism and think that I'll be able to read your mind and understand what you're going through. I'm not telepathic, but I want to be there for you, it's your job to decide if you're going to let me.
I'm Sorry if I'm Sending Mixed Messages
I know women say they want a man to be able to be vulnerable with them, but get weirded out if their man cries around them. It is a weird moment, but that doesn't mean it's bad. I'm glad that you trust me enough to let your guard down.
Just because I like kissing you, doesn't mean I'm ready to be naked friends with you. Kissing is fun and playful, but I might not be ready for the kind of emotional attachment that sex might bring. One does not necessarily lead to the other. I might not ever be ready to be naked with you just because I really like kissing you. It might not even be you're fault that I'm not ready for sex. The last person I was with hurt me pretty bad and I had rushed into sex with him before I knew where I stood and I'm a little gun shy. I understand that these are my issues and I shouldn't punish you for other men's sins, but it's still my body and my feelings and I don't know that I want to share them yet. You have the option to be patient with me, or you can walk, but please don't try to pressure me into having sex because you think I'm being a tease.
I know you're out there--you can't just exisit in my imagination, because what would be the purpose of having all these feelings if I can't share them. I guess it's just my turn to be patient.
I have decided that since I had the rant about how hard it is to be a woman these days, I thought I'd try my hand at a counterpoint. Not necessarily a post about how "its equally hard to be a man" or "why are all the good ones taken" or "what the fuck has happened to the Y chromosome?" just some thoughts and ideas about the men of 2012, the good, the bad, and crazy.
Where Have All The Cowboys Gone?
A couple of weeks ago I went downtown to go dancing with some of my girlfriends, and looking around all the dance floors we invaded I couldn't help but wonder where all the "Guy's Guys" were. Every boy we saw had a deep v-neck, over gelled hair, and a boy BFF to grind on. I couldn't figure out if it was the last night of Pride, if all the men in town were overly in touch with their feminine sides, or if I was just finally too old to party in a college town. I remember leaning over to one of my friends and saying wistfully "Remember the days when men weren't so secure in their masculinity and would sit a seat apart at the movies and would lean up against the wall in a club until a girl that they wanted to dance with walked by? I miss those days." I know that sounds mean. I know. Its a double standard... Girls grind on each other all the time and its cute and fun, if I demand equal treatment from men, I should be prepared to grant them equal treatment. The thing is, if I was able to be attracted to someone who behaved just like me, I'd be checking out the skirts myself.
I read an article on Jezebel.com this morning that was about how we as a society need to redefine the term "manly" it was written in response to a NY Times article stating that men need to rediscover their inner Don Draper. I think they both have valid points and that they are both silly at the same time. Maybe we do need to redefine what it means to be manly, but defining it as a male who gets manicures/pedicures and his chest and eyebrows waxed isn't going to do it for me. Give me Paul Bunyan over Paulie D any day of the week. I like that the general hygiene of males has significantly evolved since cro-magnum days, but I don't want to share my make up remover with my lover. I want to feel safe and secure with my guy, I want to know that even though I can take care of myself, he wants to take care of me (I'll be loving and supportive of him, I want that in return). I like guys with calloused hands, who are gainfully employed, guys who will open the door for me, who respect me and my opinions (even if said opinions differ from theirs), laugh at awkward situations, are secure in their own skin, and don't need to be drunk to have a good time. The rest of the stuff is just details. Doesn't seem like a lot to ask for.
What I don't want is someone who lives on his parents' couch, who's never had a real job, and would rather get loaded than become a contributing member of society. I'm not in college anymore, that is no longer how I define what it takes to be a man. Pay your bills, show up to work on time, and have your own place (or at the very least have roommates that didn't participate in your conception). Also? Have a valid driver's license; DUIs aren't sexy. They don't make you look cool, they make you irresponsible. I'm not saying you have to drive a Ranger Rover, but you won't be impressing anyone if you roll up on a BMX.
I guess my best definition of what a man is to me is some who has outgrown his little boy stage, someone who loves his mama, but doesn't need her to cook him dinner every night.
Please Don't Accuse me of Emotional Terrorism
I had an ex years ago who would say mean things to me, make me cry, and then accuse me of using my tears to make him feel bad. He called me a manipulative emotional terrorist, because my reaction to his asshole behavior was to be vulnerable.
Emotions are not a bad thing. Be emotional, at least its real. Don't be a jerk and expect me not to react. If you're sad, stressed, upset, happy, whatever, let me know, don't be the King of Stoicism and think that I'll be able to read your mind and understand what you're going through. I'm not telepathic, but I want to be there for you, it's your job to decide if you're going to let me.
I'm Sorry if I'm Sending Mixed Messages
I know women say they want a man to be able to be vulnerable with them, but get weirded out if their man cries around them. It is a weird moment, but that doesn't mean it's bad. I'm glad that you trust me enough to let your guard down.
Just because I like kissing you, doesn't mean I'm ready to be naked friends with you. Kissing is fun and playful, but I might not be ready for the kind of emotional attachment that sex might bring. One does not necessarily lead to the other. I might not ever be ready to be naked with you just because I really like kissing you. It might not even be you're fault that I'm not ready for sex. The last person I was with hurt me pretty bad and I had rushed into sex with him before I knew where I stood and I'm a little gun shy. I understand that these are my issues and I shouldn't punish you for other men's sins, but it's still my body and my feelings and I don't know that I want to share them yet. You have the option to be patient with me, or you can walk, but please don't try to pressure me into having sex because you think I'm being a tease.
I know you're out there--you can't just exisit in my imagination, because what would be the purpose of having all these feelings if I can't share them. I guess it's just my turn to be patient.
Tuesday, July 3, 2012
SSFW: A giggle inducing guide to life, sex, and stuff
So in no particular order, and by no particular order, I will list the following lessons by bullet point. Feel free to guess who said what and it might be a good idea to not have a beverage while reading. There were a few other contributors to the list and if you have any to add feel free to add them to the comment section. There is always room for more giggles. If you want a more serious list of the dating lessons I've learned over the years check out my blog about Loving Mr. Wrong or being In Love With Love Apparently I write about relationships... but really what is life about if not relationships. They don't all have to be romantic, but human interaction is what we do.
Time to stop feeling philosophical and start making the list...
- I was introduced to medium rare steak, bread and butter pickles, and diet dr. pepper, those were the best things I can take from that relationship
- Always were a pony tail (for those with long hair) during kinky sex or you'll never get the tangles out.
- Semen in the eye stings like a mother fucker, but can be an effective hair gel if you run out.
- OMG cum in your eye will leave you with a red eye for three days and will ruin your contact
- If you have high intakes of wasabi and garlic in your diet, that's what your spunk will taste like and she'll never swallow again
- Or let you cum in her mouth again
- Shaved balls are gross
- If the rest of your body is hairy, do not shave your balls, it's alarming
- Gatorade immediately after a bender will help make the hangover more manageable the next day.
- Please refrain from using cutesy nicknames on the second date, wait until we're in a relationship, and even then be careful some are just cringe worthy.
- Don't forget to break up with your significant other/roommate before bringing new dates home, the outcome will be less than stellar.
- Change your sheets between bed buddies, no one appreciates souvenirs from previous guests
- Never tell someone you're sleeping with that you love them... like a sibling
- No one wants to blow Swamp Thing, keep it clean friends.
- There is a right way and a wrong way to 69, him on top with swamp crotch = the wrong way
- Booty Call Rules are as Follows:
- if he calls after 10:59 its a booty call
- he needs to be single
- he can't meet your family
- he can come to your place
- he just needs to be single and hot!
- if your BC is your crush's bff don't expect your crush to ever be your BF
- its super hard to transition from a BC to a relationship... not saying it can't happen, but don't expect it to.
- If she's more interested in the cartoon going on in the background, you're probably doing it wrong
- Do not tell me you have a 24'' cock, because I will laugh at you and call you a liar. Its involuntary, really, when someone tells you something that ridiculous laughter is imminent.
- Ziploc is not an effective form of birth control
- If you're planning on breaking up with a girl, please don't take her on a super romantic vacation immediately before. It just makes goodbye that much harder and you kind of look douchey.
- Led Zepplin makes a perfect making out soundtrack
- Whiskey dick is NEVER appreciated.
- There is a right way and a wrong way to pull a girl's hair... if her reaction is a confused look or "ouch ouch that hurts!" you probably did it wrong.
- Sometimes the best sex is the kind that makes you burst out in uncontrollable laughing... no honey I'm not laughing at you, I'm laughing because I'm having a good time.
- Fake boyfriends can never know that they are the fake boyfriend.
- You really shouldn't be proud that girls tell you "8 Second Ride" is your theme song, it doesn't mean what you think it means...
- You may think having long hair is sexy, but seeing as how it always doubles as something to grab onto, I'm always in some sort of a back-bend. No wonder I end up having sex on my head so often. Its like a permanent yoga session in my bedroom.
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