a heart problem

I feel like we have a heart problem in this one great nation. We let too many things get in the way of loving each other and taking care of our neighbors.  We spend too much time looking down at our phones, at ourselves in the mirror, and not enough time looking at how we can help things get better.  We spend so much time trying to get what we believe is coming to us that there isn't enough time left in the day or money left in the bank to give what our communities deserve.
There are multiple mass shootings just about daily, I saw a calendar posted online today that showed all the mass shooting in the US this year. source  It's staggering.   What's even more baffling is that it's become so prevalent that people aren't even shocked by them anymore unless they hit close to home.  When people try to come up with solutions to all the gun violence they're met with resistance and people screaming about how no one is going to infringe on their Second Amendment rights to own firearms... but we have to do something to stop it, or at the very least find out why people are resorting to such drastic measures.  Is it mental illness? Is it entitlement? Is it just that some people are assholes and want to watch the world burn?  Personally I don't have any issues with stronger background checks and making sure your firearms are registered.  I don't feel like it infringes on your rights at all. You have a constitutional right to vote, but you still have to be at least 18 years old and be registered to cast your ballot, why shouldn't the same rules apply to pulling a trigger?  I understand that criminals are going to break laws, and murder has always been illegal, but you wouldn't let a diabetic toddler run around a candy store unattended, why would it be okay to allow just anyone to have access to items that were designed to maim and destroy? Yes... I also know that not all gun owners are irresponsible or mentally ill or going to go on a rampage, but if stricter laws, or making firearms/ammunition less easily accessible would save one town, one movie theater, one social security office, one elementary school from going though what Charleston, Aurora, Salinas, and Sandy Hook went through, it would be absolutely worth the inconvenience.

There is constant news coverage about people who abuse children, whether that be assaulting them, molesting them, starving them, kidnapping them, taking inappropriate photos of them and them profiting off those photos, what's the deal here? Do people really get off on violating our most innocent and vulnerable?

Websites like AshleyMadison encourage people to cheat on their spouses, and while this may not be the worst thing that could happen, it's still vile. If you don't want to be married, don't be married. If you want to be a dishonest creep, do it on your own time, don't hurt someone who loves you because you're bored.  If you feel like your partner is neglecting you, talk to them and try to figure out if the problem is fixable, if it is, fix it... if it isn't cut your losses and get out.  Maybe things aren't that simple, but that doesn't make creating an account on a site designed to help you be a cheat an honorable thing to do.

People seem to be more impatient and less empathetic than I've ever noticed. We live in a world of instant gratification, and if someone has to wait for more than a couple of minutes for anything they become irrationally irate.  Hey I'm sorry if you have to wait in line for your Big Mac, but those 10 people in line ahead of you got here first, it doesn't matter that you're in a hurry, everyone is in a hurry.  That doesn't mean you get to throw a tantrum because you ordered extra pickles and they forgot to add them to your burger.  Take a look at the Behind Closed Ovens blog on Jezebel's Kitchenette to see the worst of humanity and how they think it's acceptable to behave in restaurants.

Our educational system seems to be broken, in math and sciences we don't even rank in the top 20 based on global assessments. I'm including a graphic that illustrates the rankings, it belongs to a study from 2012 "which every three years measures reading ability, math and science literacy and other key skills among 15-year-olds in dozens of developed and developing countries." source  This study actually shows that we are improving BUT the scores are still so low that it's shameful and wrong. There are so many people in this country that don't value education anymore.  With tuition prices and student debt through the roof fewer and fewer young adults are receiving a college education, and even having that degree isn't guaranteeing any sort of promising future anymore.  I don't know  how to fix this, I think parental involvement is key, your first teachers should be your parents.  They need to teach their children that having a desire for knowledge is admirable.  They need to be taught to ask questions, to make mistakes and to learn from them, that they need to do things for themselves and to not expect anything to be handed to them without effort on their parts, that grades are their payment for the work they've done....you don't get an A because your mom calls the teacher and asks them to change the grade, you get an A when you earn it.

There seems to be more instances of bullying and teenage suicide than in years past, and while this could be due to the prevalence of social media and international news being available 24 hours a day in the palm of your hand, it seems there isn't a week that goes by without hearing about someone taking their own life because people were mean, like really really mean to them.  I hate that our children think that death is the only way to escape their tormentors, and that the people who are torturing these poor souls have no conscience telling them to take a step back.  It doesn't even stop at adolescence though... look at our country's leaders, the politicians running for President in 2016 spend more time tearing each other down than talking about how their going to raise our status back to greatness.  One election year I'd like to see all the mudslinging stop and only hear about what Candidate A is going to do to make thing better.  I don't need Candidate A to tell me anything about Candidates B or C, they can talk for themselves.  Is it even possible to run a clean campaign anymore?  Can we have a hero who doesn't turn their neighbor into a villain?  Is there a way for us to work together despite our differences?

I know I've listed a lot of problems and not a lot of solutions, I've asked more questions than I've answered, but if any one of these start a dialogue to help us get through these dark days, then my words were not wasted.  We have a long row to hoe friends, but I think we have the tools to make it work.

Monsters at Your Door

I used to be a fan/page member of several pages on Facebook that provided me with a wealth of news articles that weren't always top loaded on my news.google.com feed. Most of these pages were centered around women's rights and promoting equality for minorities. They used to have a lot of really great information.  They were indignant when many politicians were talking about doing whatever they could to take away women's legal rights for particularly controversial medical procedures (abortions), they lobbied hard when the Susan G. Komen foundation decided they wanted to cut ties with Planned Parenthood, these groups celebrated when states granted same sex couples the legal right to marry, and I loved them for this.

So why the "used to be" you might be asking? Where has the love gone?

In the wake of the Sandy Hook Elementary School shootings earlier this month, these pages have fallen from their missions of protecting individual rights that were granted by the Constitution, Supreme Court rulings, and the voice of the people, to being raging anti-gun pages. I understand, we lost a lot that day, it wasn't fair, and personally I can't stop crying over it. Every time I see one of those 20 children's faces my eyes fill up and it's all I can do to not let them spill while I'm at work. I feel the trauma of losing my brother who died a few years ago all over again, and while his death was due to a violent crime it wasn't gun related, it doesn't matter, loss is loss no matter how it happens, especially when it's unexpected. Everyone needs someone to blame for the tragedy. They look for monsters in the world.  They blame the NRA, violent video games, Hollywood, Walmart, the media, developmental disorders, and a host of others for the shootings. They have taken the conversation from being about stricter gun control laws and more availability for mental health care access to being about a total firearm ban. They use fear mongering techniques like "would you trust a stranger with a gun?" polls and belittling posters who have different opinions about how to make the country a safer place.

First, let's place the blame where it's due. The 20 year old man who brought the guns to campus and killed those people is where the blame lies. He did it, it's his fault, it was his choice. Callous? Maybe... but it's true. There are millions of people in the country battling illness and don't shoot up kindergarten classrooms. If you want to take a wider scope, let's look at his mom, otherwise known as Victim #1. She knew that her son had problems and still had firearms throughout the house and they were easily accessible to her son, she taught him how to use them, and took him shooting. I haven't heard anything about his father. Where was he? I'm genuinely curious. I'm not one of those people who feel like single parents are the cause of all evil, but just because someones parents are no longer with each other doesn't mean that one parent is allowed to check out on their kid. Did he die? Or just not around?  If the shooter was not getting treatment for his illness, why aren't there more means to get help for adults who don't want to help themselves?

Do you still need something to be afraid of? How about how hard it is to get help when you're mentally ill? How about being afraid of parents who would rather be their kids' best friend instead of an authority figure? How about being afraid of people who would happily take away your rights because they make them feel icky? How about looking to history and seeing what similar bans have done (think Stalin, Castro, Hitler)? How about wondering where it will stop once they start taking rights away?

Personally I think there need to be stricter enforcement of the laws we have, and consider making them federal laws so that they are the same across state lines, review "Stand Your Ground" laws to make sure they really work the way they are intended to and not a blanket excuse for killing people who could potentially be threatening, new policies demanding background checks for firearms sales, a review of what types of firearms are available to the general public, mandatory safety courses for firearms users, a licensing program that needs to be renewed on a regular basis much like a driver's license, and harsher penalties for violating these policies. Granted it won't keep criminals from obtaining weapons illegally, but it might make certain weapons harder to get in general. Law abiding citizens might be more inclined to keep weapons locked and out of sight when not in use. I also don't think that it should stop at gun control, there are many violent crimes that are committed daily that you don't hear about because they're on a smaller scale, but their impact is still felt. There needs to be a way to prohibit violent crimes in general. How do we take control back from the thugs on the streets and the abusers that hide behind their locked doors?

I don't think schools need to be turned into prisons to keep children safe, but having security and a police officer on campus at all times isn't a bad idea. Kids need to be able to enjoy school and look forward to learning and I'm not sure that would happen in an environment where fear rules.

A few of these pages are looking to dismantle the 2nd amendment, calling it archaic and unnecessary, however my feelings are that once you start taking away some rights, the others will be just as easy to remove. Why stop at the second? The first amendment causes a lot of trouble too, and who gave women and minorities the right to vote? We can't base our laws on emotions.

The same people who were against George W. Bush trading our freedoms for security post 9-11 are the trying to do the same now. I'm not saying there doesn't need to be changes, I'm just asking that we make them based on logic and not fear.  Stop looking for monsters under the bed when there are bigger ones knocking at your door.