Graduation Day

This year marks the 15 year anniversary of graduating from high school, and the 10 year milestone for graduating from the university. 

I’m not sure if I know anyone who is celebrating their own graduation this year, but if I could give my younger self some advice it would go something like this.

Work hard to accomplish your goals even when it’s easier to be lazy, it’s not the grade that is important, it’s the life skills you gain by learning time management and the satisfaction of a job well done.  Even though group projects are THE WORST, they prepare you for life outside of school and learning how to work well with difficult people is something you’re going to have to get used to.  You will discover that your best friends will filter through the time and miles, and that you don’t need to see them every day to stay close to them.  People will surprise you, both good and bad, and you will surprise yourself.  Be true to who you are, and even though it’s completely clichéd don’t sweat the small stuff.  Remember that your actions have consequences, not only for yourself but for others around you as well.  You are not an island.

Play harder.  Fall in love with life over and over again.  You’ll never have the free time and lack of responsibilities like you do now again, at least not until you retire or marry a billionaire, and you can’t count on either of those future options.  Laugh as much as possible, spend time with your family, you don’t know how much time you have left with them.  Never forget to say “I love you” there will come days that you’ll regret that you didn’t say it enough to the people who needed to hear it the most.

Experience new things, you’re going to love sushi, and stop being afraid of change.  Be bold, be brave, and sometimes leap before you look.  Don’t panic when things don’t go as planned, detours are often the best part of adventures.

Be careful who you give your heart to, but at the same time never be afraid of love.  Even when that certain someone breaks your heart, and he will, love is always a gift.  You will get hurt, life doesn’t come with a floatation device and some days you’ll feel like you’re drowning, but you have to keep swimming, even if you get tired.  Remember the good times, but don’t let them blind you to dangerous situations.  Be gentle with other people’s hearts too, even if you can’t love them back, don’t be callous, and don’t hurt them on purpose.  It’s much kinder to rip a band aid off than to slowly tear every hair out one by one, it may not seem like it in the moment, but it really is.

Above all stay honest, speak your mind, do not allow yourself to be silenced.  Your stories matter, your voice needs to be heard.  Never stop sticking up for the underdog even when it’s hard and it might make people uncomfortable.  Do what feels right in your heart even if it means taking a different path that the one you originally started on.

Learn to let go of the toxic people in your life, you may not always be able to avoid them, but you don’t have to go out of your way to make space for them in your heart either.  If someone treats you poorly on a regular basis, they are not your friend, stop making excuses for their bad behavior and move on, it won’t always be easy, but your mental health will thank you for it down the road.  Hold the people who support you, who inspire you, who grow you, close to your heart.  These are the people who will be there for you whether you live 2 miles away or 2,000.  Be the kind of friend that will answer the phone at 2am and come to a friend’s rescue, no questions asked. 

There are going to be hard days ahead, really really hard days, ones that make you wonder why you even got out of bed.  Your friends are going to be the ones to get you through these days, whether they offer you a shoulder to cry on, a sympathetic ear, a road trip to distract you, or they crawl in bed with you so that you don’t feel so alone.  Remember that there will be better days to come, and that while some things you never really get over, it will get easier to roll out of bed and learn to smile again.  No one gets through life unscarred, you have to make a decision to be a victim or a survivor, sometimes you have to make that very conscious choice every day.  You absolutely cannot let the bad days defeat you.  You are allowed to cry, you are allowed to be vulnerable, you are allowed to feel scared and weak, you are NOT allowed to give up.

Be passionate about the world around you.  Never lose the joy of learning new things, never stop challenging yourself.  You are a creative person so lose yourself in your art whether it’s taking photographs, drawing, writing, or any other mediums you pick up on your journey.  Change the world around you, make it a better place, find a cause that you can fight for. Be an advocate, an ally, and let your voice ring out among the masses.  There is so much wrong in the world, do your part to set things right.

Do your best to live a life with as few regrets as possible, try not to stay angry at people who have disappointed you. You do not always have to forgive and forget, but you do have to let go and move on.  If you’ve done something that you are sorry for, apologize sincerely.  If someone has hurt you, find a way to get passed it, even if that means letting go of the relationship (whether that be a friendship, a romance, a negative work environment, or maybe even a family member).  You cannot control other people’s behaviors, but you can control your reaction and limit your interactions.  Try not to hold hate in your heart, it only hurts you, it won’t always be easy but it is important.

I have found that the easiest way to be happy is to find joy in the small things, minimal traffic on the way to work, flowers blooming, good coffee in the morning, eyeliner applied perfectly the first time, casual hot tub nights with the girlfriends, spending time in nature, late night talks with people who make me laugh, guilty pleasures like celebrity gossip and fashion, reading, bright colors, Harry Potter on DVD, and good food.  Your goals and ideas about how your life should be will change over and over again and that’s okay, there’s no shame in changing your mind or deciding that maybe you were a little off in the coordinates you used to map out your life.

Blogaversary

Hey friends and faithful readers... it's that time of year again, can you believe this blogging journey is about two years old now? Okay, for me is seems longer, I almost posted that it has been a four year long journey... and not because it feels like it's been dragging on, but because it has become so much a part of what I do. I think the past couple years have marked the most consistent journaling I have ever done in my whole life... and while I may not post every event or thought that crosses my path, I do get a lot of it out.

Over the past year I've started chronicling my dreams, posting album reviews, recipes, and working on monthly updates about what has been going on in my life along with other posts about current events. I feel like I've given deeper insights into who I am now, and maybe a map of who I'm becoming as a woman in her early 30s who is still trying to find her place in the world.

In the past two years I've had close to 6,000 hits on my blog, and while that may be far from viral, it's still a voice in the blogosphere, people...strangers care about my thoughts and opinions and while that can be intimidating, it's also gratifying.

I suppose now is the time for my yearly wish list or resolutions to carry me into 32.

Over the past year and a half I've maintained a monthly "wrap up" journal style post, I'm not sure I want to continue that beyond this month. I do enjoy looking back at all the fun I've had, however it's beginning to feel forced and I can see that my writing style is suffering. I want to write about things that matter (not that having fun with friends/family doesn't matter) instead of just spewing a laundry list of diary entries that only my closest friends care about. I haven't ruled it out, I'm just thinking about making some changes.

I want to really learn how to use my camera and be a better amateur photographer (I hesitate to use that title, because there are real talents out here and I just want to better my hobby). I want to be creative and make beautiful things and I don't want to be limited because I only have basic knowledge.

I want to fall back in love with life, right now I feel like I'm treading water and that I need to create some new adventures and experiences before I drown. I'm not hating anything right now, I wouldn't even really say that I'm depressed, I'm just bored and apathetic, and that really needs to change.

Ideally I'd like to lesson my social network addiction, I feel like it takes up too much of my life, and for what? What do I have to show for the hours upon hours that I spend playing on facebook or twitter? I don't my presence to vanish, but I think it will be better if I'm not so connected all the time. So far I feel like I've done a decent job of not being logged into twitter or Facebook while I'm at work and my productivity levels have increased exponentially. It's amazing how much time is wasted on things that are really not that important (not that keeping up with friends and family is unimportant, but when I'm at work, I really should be focused on what I'm being paid to do, like a grown up would do).

My October Wrap Up

Its that time again, I promised you all that I'd get this up sometime this weekend so here is the monthly wrap up for October.



Morro Rock, Morro Bay, CA

Woody Car Show @ Wavelengths Surf Shop

Harbor Festival: The first weekend in October I spent the day in Morro Bay with my mom at the annual Harbor Festival. There was a Woody Car Show, lots of booths displaying artwork, local breweries/wineries, and awesome people watching. The weather couldn't have been better, was warm breezy, and there were amazing views of Morro Rock. This was my first trip to the festival, even though I've lived on the Central Coast my whole life. I'd like to think that attending will become a new tradition.




Mai Tai at the Elephant Bar

Old Town Saloon

The Big Fresno Fair

Long Weekend in Fresno: The following weekend I took a day off work so that I could have a long weekend visiting my boyfriend in Fresno.  While he was in class on Friday I met up with my aunt who lives in the Valley for lunch at the Elephant Bar and a little shopping near the River Park area in town.  Friday night we attended the Big Fresno Fair and saw the band Chevelle in concert... well most of the concert anyway, we stayed for the songs we knew, then wandered through the fair exhibits for the rest of the evening. Saturday we had a little football party at his apartment to watch the Fresno State game, but if I'm going to be honest here, and why wouldn't I be, my allergies were so bad that day that I ended up going to bed at half time and didn't wake up until many hours later when the guys woke me up to go to dinner... oopsies. After dinner it was time to head to Clovis for dancing at the Old Town Saloon. It was an experience I won't soon forget. The dance floor was packed all night and the DJ was amazing, I don't think he played a bad song all night, and the boy was a dancing machine, I'm not sure he left the dance floor for more than a few minutes at a time all night... eventually it was closing time and we decided to take the party back to his place... and it lasted until after we went to sleep sometime around 5am.  Needless to say Sunday was a day for sleeping in and relaxing, and then I made my way back home that evening.

Girls' Nights: Our weekly girls' nights have continued throughout the fall and we've been watching The Walking Dead, we're all caught up to the current season that's airing on AMC right now, so instead of watching on the TV we all snuggle around the laptop and stream it from the internet. I have to say I'm really thankful that I've gotten to know these girls this year, we've had a lot of good times and I know that I've found some friends for life.

The Boy Comes to Town: The weekend after I went to Fresno to visit him, he came home to get some work done on his truck and to visit me. There weren't as many epic adventures this time around, but as long as we're spending time together that's what is really important.  Friday night we went to a local wine tasting room for a couple glasses with his mom and friends, Saturday night we went to dinner with my mom, then met some friends for drinks at a bar in the Village of Arroyo Grande, then capped off the night in the hot tubs at Sycamore Mineral Springs.  It was such a relaxing night that I almost fell asleep in the tub, and no I was drinking and passing out, I was just that relaxed and tired. Sunday was all about football and family day, we went to his dad's house for the morning games, then I left to go to my parents for laundry and Sunday dinner, then he came back to my house for one last visit before he had to go back to school in Fresno.

Carving Pumpkins

SoCal Halloween: This year the weekend before the holiday I deviated from my usual Halloween extravaganza in San Luis Obispo to go down to Southern California and try it out Hollywood style.  The original plan was to get all dolled up (pun intended, I was a ventrilaquest dummy) and go to Bootsy Bellows, David Arquette's nightclub in West Hollywood.  We had been in touch with the club for the past couple weeks trying to see how to get reservations and if we needed them.  According to whoever answered the phones and emails, they weren't necessary, all we had to do was show up and we'd be in.  That was the same story 90 minutes before we got to the club. Somehow in that hour and a half everything we had been told had been thrown out the window and they were now a "reservations only"venue. Odd. I even was holding a tweet from the man himself (who was out of town) saying that he hoped I had a great time and that he didn't want me to have any trouble at the door. After about 45 minutes of standing in line the doorman told us we were wasting our time because we weren't getting in and we should probably find something else to do. Awesome. Never fear though, I had also been in touch with my cousin who lives nearby most of the evening and he came up with an even better plan. We met up at his place for a glass of wine then he took us to a super cool spot called Harvard and Stone in Thai Town. The music was fantastic, it was all old tunes that everyone could sing along and dance the night away.  It was such a better experience than we would have had in the Hollywood club.  I won't be surprised if Bootsy doesn't last much longer to tell the truth, we got there shortly after they opened and there was a steady stream of disappointed faces coming out of the club all night. If you get a chance, blow off the Sunset scene and make your way to Harvard and Stone, the atmosphere is friendly and the music will keep you on your feet all night.


Halloween Day: Since Halloween was on a weekday this year I couldn't go far from home to do anything that night... however, it worked out because we planned our Girls' Night that week to dress in costume and hand out candy to trick or treaters. Worked out perfectly... now if only there were more kids to give out treats to... we saw a lot of teenagers that did the bare minimum for costumes "hi I'm a guido from the Jersey Shore" said the kid in basketball shorts and a t-shirt "Duh, I'm a witch" said the girl in jeans, a sweatshirt, and a pointy hat. So I was stingy with their treats... only fair right?

Random: This month (on the 26th) marked the 3 year anniversary of getting hired at my place of employment. I've had some good times and bad times, but for the most part I really like my job and who I work for.  It was such a welcome relief to work for people that I can actually respect and learn from.
Mid-month I had lunch with a couple of my girlfriends who I hadn't seen in months, we went to the Natural Cafe and caught up on each others lives. I think the main thing we got out of it was that we really need more than my 1 hour lunch break to hang out.  They're both excellent photographers and bakers and I think we can all learn a lot from each other, as well as have a lot of laughs.  Check out their work Forever Moore Photography and Behind.The.Foto
I think I may have made my last Walmart trip, at the very least the Walmart in Santa Maria. I had gone there to buy some windshield wipers for my car as the weather is starting to change a little (very little, it was in the mid 90s today on the Coast). Anyway the store was crowded and filthy... How filthy you might ask? Let me break it down for you... I slipped in a pile of puke and there was no one around to clean it up... and since the smell had dissipated before I stepped in it, chances are it had been there for awhile.  After I slipped I noticed that the funky smell that wafted throughout the ENTIRE store was indeed vomit. Coincidentally there was a display of Lysol disinfectant spray near check out so I sprayed down my shoes before I left.  I even had my prescriptions changed to the local Target so that there really isn't any reason for me to go back. I'd rather spend a little more money somewhere else and not have to worry about the plague.

Girl Blog 3 of 3: A New Wishlist

Happy Anniversary Blogger, its been a year already and I think its appropriate to celebrate with a new wish list. My first post on this site was My Wish List and while a lot of these wishes are still hopes I have for the future its time for a new list.

My hopes for women haven't changed, if anything I hope that in the years to come we won't have to still be fighting the same battles our grandmothers fought for equality, reproductive freedom, and won't be judged on anything but our own personal merit.

A lot has happened since I posted my wish list last year, it was a chronical of my thirtieth year in many ways... and with the year winding down for me (my birthday is Friday, if you want to send presents I'm totally on Amazon.com) I thought maybe this could be a New Year's Resolution type post. Not just wishes for the population as a whole, but more localized.  The way I want to live 31.

• Don't sweat the small stuff.
• I know its totally cliched, but I get so caught up in making things that don't matter in the long run matter in the present that I lost sight of what really is important.
• Chill on the out of control spending
• Do I really need that sweater in 4 different colors? Will two or {gasp} one suffice? Do I really need it at all?
• Write More
• Whether it be here on the blog, or short stories, or in a journal, set the pen to the paper and get the words out.
• Appreciate EVERYTHING
• Good times, bad times they all have their lessons to teach.
• Experience the Out of the Ordinary
• Take chances that I wouldn't necessarily always take. Who knows where it could lead.
• Don't Be Afraid to Say No
• I know this almost contradicts the one that I posted before, but this is more in the sense that I tend to overload myself because I want to be able to do it all. Sometimes I need to sit back and either let something slide or let someone else handle it. I don't need to be in charge all of the time. I can share the reins.
• Cultivate Positive Relationships
• Sometimes people are in your life for a season, sometimes a few years, sometimes a lifetime. Everyone you meet has a specific purpose in your life, even if its just a small encounter, who knows where you might find inspiration to do the next big thing.

I think that these are all do-able goals and I look forward to tackling the new year.