Dream State Escalate: 48

Last night's dream/nightmare was so bad. SO BAD. SO INCREDIBLY BAD. Enough where I grabbed onto my BF like my life depended on it and started reciting prayers from back in my CCD days to pull the darkness out of my eyes as if my soul depended on it.

Now the dream...

We were working at a winery event as we have done a few times in the past together when this really upset/disheveled strange woman rushes up to us and tries to force a Tupperware container full of a strange looking meat at my BF, she keeps insisting through her tears that he has to cook it and eat it immediately.  I stand between them and try to take the container away from her and the thing burns my hand like it's covered in acid.  I set it on a table behind us and demand that she tell us what it is.

She starts sobbing how she didn't mean to do it, how she couldn't stop herself, but the voices in her head told her she had to make a sacrifice.  She killed her dog, a bull terrier, by luring it outside on a patio and slitting it's throat then taking it's tongue... that's what was in the container.  She knew that she had done wrong, that she had betrayed her best friend, 1st by killing him when he had done nothing wrong, 2nd by leaving him to die alone and in pain.  She wanted to pass the demon that had possessed her on by making my BF unwittingly eat her "sacrifice." I told her that there was NO WAY he was going to consume that and that we needed to bury it on consecrated grounds.  That she had to bring her dog and the pieces she had cut from him and we had to bury it at the church where the demon couldn't follow.

I woke up as the last shovel of dirt buried the dog completely, but I couldn't see clearly, it was like there was a black fog in the room trying to block my eyes. I couldn't remember the words to the prayers, but I figured the plea for help and my intentions would have to be good enough.  I held on to BF and my dog and just waited for my eyes to clear.  Eventually I was able to go back to sleep, but it was a restless night.  I don't know what was going on but it was enough to still give me chills when I think about it.

Garth Brooks: Man Against Machine: Album Review

Artist: Garth Brooks

Album: Man Against Machine

Point of Purchase: Christmas gift, but it is available for digital download on GhostTunes.com

Thoughts: I was a little apprehensive about this album.  I mean on one hand, it's Garth, and he's never really disappointed me, even when he did his Chris Gaines thing, but the first time I head the song "People Loving People" it really annoyed me for some reason.  The more I heard it, the more I liked it, and that perplexed me. Anyway I added the cd to my Amazon wishlist and figured that I'd eventually purchase it, and one of my uncles ended up buying it for me for Christmas.  I opened it up a couple of days later and popped it in the player and listened to it 5 times in a row. It's that good. It really is best to listen to it in order even though there isn't really a continuous story going on, the songs just flow better (this is coming from someone who almost exclusively listens to music on shuffle).  If you're a parent, thinking of becoming one, or have friends with kids there are some songs that will sing right to your heart (Mom and Send 'Em On Down The Road) but in all honestly there is a song for everyone on this album. It might end up being one of my favorites.



Track Listing: Favorite Lyrics

1. Man Against Machine "This is where I make my stand because I can't stand it anymore"
2. She's Tired of Boys "She said I’m tired of boys/I’m tired of first dates/And I’m tired of toys/I want a lover who will understand/Someone who will touch me with a knowing hand"
3. Cold Like That "I could be the train for a change/You could be the one tied to the track"
4. All-American Kid “And the whole town cheered/And his mama cried/Another hometown boy/Made it home alive/Got his picture in the paper and the headline read ‘Welcome Back All-American Kid’/Yeah, this song is for those who never did/Come back all-American kids”
5. Mom “So, hush now little baby, don’t you cry/Cause there’s someone down there waiting whose only goal in life/Is making sure you’re always gonna be alright/A loving angel tender, tough, and strong/Come on child, it’s time to meet your mom”
6. Wrong About You “You were right about so many things/That I’m starting to think I was wrong about you”
7. Rodeo and Juliet “To thine own self be true is all she knows”
8. Midnight Train “It’s like I’m chained to a midnight train passing through”
9. Cowboys Forever “We've always been, it’s what we’ll always be/We’re cowboys forever”
10. People Loving People "Talk is cheap, but lies are free"
11. Send 'Em On Down the Road "You can help them find their wings, but you can't fly for 'em"
12. Fish “So I asked myself a question/That I knew the answer to/Is success a second mortgage/On a big house with a pool/Or is it a chair/The salt in the air/Wetting the line”
13. You Wreck Me “Tell me what I got to do/To paint me in/Your perfect picture”
14. Tacoma "I'm burning your memory/One mile at a time"

Dream State Escalate: 47

Last night's dream was troubling, and left me feeling off kilter this morning.

I was at my mom's house and the family's dog was really sick and ended up dying.  During his death, some sort of weird magic started happened and my brother (who has been dead for slightly more than 5 years) walked into the kitchen as his 15 year old self.  Somehow in losing our dog, I got my brother back and he got a do over?

I'm not sure how it worked... dreams don't have to make sense to feel real.

I just woke up missing him so much, and being so sad that there isn't enough magic in the world to bring him back, or to give second chances.

Also it was depressing because Jesse (the dog) is getting older, more frail, and is probably not going to be with us much longer, I'd be surprised if he saw another Christmas, maybe another Labor day, but I'm not sure about another winter.