Happy Halloween Friends

 

 

Happy Halloween Friends, my monthly wrap up should be up sometime this weekend. Hope you have an awesome night and I can't wait to hear about your epic adventures and see pictures of all the shenanigans.  Don't worry, I'll recap mine, I'm just not through with the celebrations yet and I don't want to leave anything out.

 

To all of those affected by Hurricane Sandy on the East Coast, my heart and thoughts go out to you.  I can't seem to find the words to express my feelings, they all come out wrong, so just know that I'm thinking about you and hoping for the best even in this terrible situation. 

It's Your Choice: Victim or Survivor.

 

I keep seeing posts about how October is Anti-Bullying Month.  I want to say that while I think bullying is wrong and is something that we should teach people to avoid; we also need to teach people how to respond to it when faced with someone who is a bully.  I don’t want to be accused of blaming the victim, but while you cannot control how someone treats you, you CAN control your reaction to it.  Yes, being picked on hurts and can cause long term emotional damage, but it doesn’t have to define you.  You can choose to be a victim just as much as you can choose to be a survivor.

 

Picking on someone that you see as a weakling, a threat, or even something as basic as different from what you consider normal is wrong.  However, it’s just as wrong to commit or attempt suicide because someone is being mean to you.  If someone is picking on your via social networks you have the ability to delete/block/report them, if EVERYONE is trashing your profile, you have the ability to disable your account.

 

I remember in Girl’s PE my freshman year in HS we had to do a section on self defense…against a physical attacker, maybe schools should have a seminar/class regarding self defense against verbal attacks too.  Words hurt; they can leave long term damage that takes longer to heal than broken bones and bruised limbs.  Honestly, I still haven't forgiven the scum bag who started nasty rumors about me in high school, however, I know that the words that he spread about me were completely false and I didn't allow him to destroy me, or even know how much it hurt when I found out that people actually believed him over me.  I chose to be stronger than his words. I think we need to teach people that they can choose to be a survivor instead of just a victim. 

 

Instead of encouraging “why me????” behavior, we should teach them, “yes, it happened, it was awful, this is how I’m going to get better.”  It is really hard to take the initiative to heal, just sitting around and waiting it out without making the efforts just makes it that much harder.  Deal with your pain, face it head on, and fight the fight every day even when it’s exhausting. ESPECIALLY WHEN IT’S EXHAUSTING.  One day you’ll look back and be grateful that you had the perseverance to pull through.  I think being picked on, while terrible and gut wrenching in the moment, teaches you empathy for the future.  You can put yourself in the position of someone less fortunate and understand on some level what they might be going through.

 

The world is a scary place, but you don’t always have to be afraid.  Be brave, fight back, stand up for yourself.  You don’t have to turn into a bully yourself, but you don’t have to be a doormat either.

You Know What Chaps My Hide

I know a lot of this has already been said (not necessarily here by me, but it has been circulating the Internet for months now... maybe longer), but with the encouragement of The Elitist I decided to let the fire breathing monster out of her cage again.

Its a fairly short rant today, the first a minor annoyance and then it escalates from there.

October is Awareness Month: For seemingly EVERYTHING. Anti-bullying month, Breast Cancer Awareness (more on this later), Lost Children, etc. It seems like every time I log into one of the various social networks I'm a member of I'm being told that in honor of October's ________ Awareness Month I need to take a moment of silence for {insert cause here}. There are 12 months out of the year people, spread your shit out. Okay, sorry, that was harsh and mean for any one of the millions of people who have been affected by whatever cause they're supporting, and I'm not saying your cause isn't worthwhile... it probably is, but why is October so special?

Breast Cancer and it's Pretty Pink Ribbons: First of all before you jump on my case for being a heartless jerk, let me say this FUCK CANCER. It's scary, deadly, and as of yet we don't have a solid cure... yes there are treatments that might force it into remission, but it's like a time bomb ready to go off at any time. Breast cancer (and all other forms) is serious business and I feel like "pinkifying" the world for one month out of the year makes light of it. T-shirts that say "Save the Boobies/Ta-Ta's/Second Base" across the chest is not only sexualizing something that is clearly NOT SEXY but it's reducing women to one piece of their anatomy. Women are more than their breasts. I've never seen a pair of men's sweat pants that say "Cure Colon Cancer" or "Protect the Prostate" across the ass, so why are we turning a very serious medical issue into something campy at best.  Yes, sex sells and gets people's attention, and sure it will bring dollars in... but just because you can get attention that way doesn't make it the right way. 

Professional sports teams, firefighters, and other companies spend thousands of dollars purchasing pink uniforms for their employees, who does this help?  I know they have the right to spend their money on whatever they want, and it's not up to me to decide what their budget gets allocated toward, BUT I think it would help a lot more people if they would donate whatever funds they use to purchase uniforms that they only wear for one month out of the year to cancer research. To something that will actually help cure cancer instead of just giving it attention. Let's fund research instead of rallies. We're aware, now let's do something about it. 

Why is Feminist Such a Dirty Word?: Is it because it conjures up an image of an angry woman in a pant suit? Or a hairy-legged, man-hating, sandalwood smelling, anti-deodorant-wearing, bra-burning hippie woman? Is that why strong women want to distance themselves from that word?

According to Dictionary.com a feminist is someone who advocates social, political, legal, and economic rights for women equal to those of men.

Doesn't seem like such a bad thing does it? There's no mention of hating men, wanting more rights or privileges than men, no requirements for setting your bra on fire or tossing out your razors ladies. 

Do you want equal rights? Do you want equal pay for equal work? Do you want to be treated the same as your male counterparts? Do you want to be able to take your car to the mechanic and not get ripped off because you have a vagina? Do you want your daughter to grow up in a world where she has the same educational and career opportunities as your sons? Do you think your sister should be able to walk to her apartment at night after her last class without getting raped on her college campus? Do you think that your best friend should be able to have a cocktail at a bar or party without the fear of getting drugged? Do you want your major medical decisions to be between you and your doctor without political interference? Do you think that its ridiculous that single mothers are currently being blamed for society's problems by a certain political figure? Congratulations, here's your membership card to Club Feminist. Men are welcome here too.