Overheard... And the Response I Wish I Would Have Made

A few weeks ago my boyfriend and I were sitting at the bar in one of the local steakhouses that we frequent, and I overheard a conversation between a woman and her companions.  I know, I know, you shouldn't eavesdrop on other people's conversations, but they were so loud it was impossible to not pay attention.

The woman was telling the man sitting next to her that she thought young women were evil and that they were the absolute worst.  I found this disappointing, but I figured that I would keep listening to see where it was going.  She started in on how her 15 year old daughter's best friend was a horrible bitch... Her reasoning? The friend told the daughter that she was beautiful without make up.  That's it. She told her friend that she was beautiful.  Mom wasn't having it though, she made sure to correct the friend and tell her daughter "She is only saying that because she wants to steal your man, and they only want she can do that is if you're ugly and not wearing make up."

I had to stop listening at this point, because I was starting to see red and I wanted to swim across the bar to confront the lady.  Instead I leaned over to my boyfriend and whispered into his ear, "Did I hear that right? Did she really just tell these people that her daughter is ugly without a face full of paint? Did I misunderstand?" He assured me that I heard correctly, and that maybe I shouldn't be listening in on conversations that I'm not part of.

So I went back to my drink, and food was served shortly, but clearly this exchange stayed with me.  It really bothers me that people are teaching their daughters that other girls are the enemy, and especially at such a young age.  A fifteen year old shouldn't have to worry about someone "stealing her man" she should be worried about whether or not she's going to pass her final exams, and what she's going to do over the weekend.  She should be learning that her girlfriends can last a lifetime, but your high school crush will likely only last a few months.  GIRLS ARE NOT THE ENEMY.  Boys aren't either, but they shouldn't be your only focus in life, there are so many other dreams to chase at that age.

I hope all my friends with daughters teach them to be true to themselves.  If they want to wear make up, that's cool, but that they don't need it to feel worthy.  They don't need to paint themselves to be beautiful, to be loved.  I hope they're taught that ugliness is more than skin deep, that you can be conventionally pretty, but still have a hideous soul and that it's better to be a good person than to look good in designer jeans.  Help the underdog, hold your friends' hand when they're feeling insecure, build up others instead of tearing them down.  Speak out when something needs to be said, be fearless.  Strength is more that big muscles, it's in your character, make yours one worth remembering.

A Short Update

It's been months since I've last posted, something like six, and I miss you terribly.  I have much more limited access to internet that I have in the past, and to be completely honest I've been suffering from writer's block.  I don't know what I want to write about, and I feel stuck.

There have been some changes since the last post.  We were unable to keep the dog we adopted around Thanksgiving time, she couldn't get along with Bugsy, our other dog, and the shelter said the best course of action would be to take her back.  She was an awesome girl, but needed to be an "only child" and Bugsy needs to live in an envrironment where he isn't in fear for his life on a regular basis.

We're still living out in the country, it is hard to believe we're only 2 months away from being in this place for a year.  There were beautiful wildflower growing on the mountains all around us, it made for a very scenic drive home, we often just hopped in the car and went looking at all the gorgeous places around us.

I an still happy at my job, it really feels like home. I've been there since September and I really feel like I've found my tribe.  It is such a great feeling to finally work at a place where I feel appreciated and that what I do matters.  Things are still great on the relationship front, I've never been in a place like this, and it's really the best.  It is so good to be part of a team.

Thankful 2015

I’ve been seeing a lot of daily posts across social media for the month of November counting people’s thankfulness, and while I’ve enjoyed seeing other people’s updates I haven’t participated myself this year.  That isn’t to say I’m not thankful for many things in my life, because I most certainly am.

I decided I would post a list here of the many things I have been thankful for, and while it will contain a lot of things, I’m sure it won’t be everything.  We should keep thankfulness in our hearts and minds all year, as well as the month of Thanksgiving.

·         My family

·         My friends, and those friends who have stolen so much of my heart they are family

·         My amazing boyfriend

·         Our “pack” (Bugsy and our new kid Bliss)

·         My job, I’m so incredibly thankful for this opportunity, I no longer want to puke at the thought of going to work in the mornings.

·         The house we live in, because even though it’s far (really far) from perfect, it’s home.

·         Applebee’s, Rooney’s, and Cielto Lindo… because without them I might actually have to cook on occasion.

·         That the weather has finally turned some and it’s no longer like sitting on the surface of the sun in my living room.

·         Hyperbole

·         Kindle and all the amazing books I’m able to download and take with me anywhere so I’m never without a book, I even have the app on my iPhone.

·         Technology that keeps me connected to friends and family that I may not be able to see or hear their voices often, I can still be up to date on their lives, or that has brought me new friends that I would have never made without the benefits of social media.

·         That earlier this year my uncle was able to get my car running smoothly again so that it would pass a smog inspection and I didn’t have to empty out my bank account or pull out all my hair in frustration.

·         That Netflix doesn’t charge late fees (sorry about keeping that movie for like 3 months btw)

·         That I didn’t get pulled over when it took me 2 months to put my registration sticker on my car… I paid for it on time, I just didn’t put it on the license plate… because lazy.

·         That even when I’m clumsy and hurt myself or have sinus problems, I’ve been relatively healthy… There is so much sickness and pain in the world, when my nose is runny or I have a headache, it doesn’t even compare to what so many other people are going through.

·         That I have a warm bed to sleep in at night, there are a lot of people in the world (or even our community) that don’t even have a stable roof over their heads, yeah it’s not the best bed in the world, but it’s more than what many people have.

·         That I was able to obtain a college degree without being saddled with tons of student loan debt.

·         That I grew up surrounded by love and privilege.  That doesn’t mean that I didn’t have to work hard for what I have, or that my family had things handed to them effortlessly, but we live in a country where so much is often taken for granted.  I’ve always had a safety net of sorts.  Not everyone can say that.

·         I’m thankful for the strong role models I’ve had in my life.  There have been lots of lessons to learn over the years, and I’m sure there are more to pick up along the way.  For those who taught me that the only time you really lose at anything is when you give up on yourself.  Play your hardest and to the best of your ability, and even if you don’t walk away with a victory, you can still feel victorious.  For those who taught me to never compromise my integrity.  If you can’t be real, nothing is real.

·         For afternoon snuggles with Bugsy in the lazy boy.

·         For having the opportunity to adopt Bliss this weekend.

·         For “I love you” text messages just because

·         For funny pictures of my friends’ and family’s children doing kid things.

·         For having a functioning washer and dryer at my house so I don’t have to literally lug dirty laundry across town.

·         For all the life experiences and dead ends that eventually led me to this place.

·         For learning that while bee stings are super irritating, I don’t think I’m allergic to them… mostly because while my finger still hurts, I didn’t die from it like the kid in My Girl (it was my first bee sting okay? Who knows what could have happened)

·         For all the people who volunteer at animal shelters.  I don’t think I could do it, just being in the room with all the dogs looking for homes broke my heart.  There were so many times I just wanted to cry for them, and of course take them all home, and give them all the snuggles.

·         For good music, and even for the terrible music I’m embarrassed to admit I listen to on occasion.

·         That when I fell down the other night I just bruised myself and didn’t once again sprain my ankle… even though I cried like a baby.

·         For good movies to entertain us while we don’t have cable.

·         That we finally got a landline so that while we live out in the country we don’t miss important phone calls.

·         That we live in a part of the world where it isn’t unreasonable to be dressed for the beach one day and snow the next.  That the cold we whine and cry about is nowhere near what the rest of the country faces…. Or the heat for that matter.

·         That gas prices are going down.

·         That I had the time and energy to make and post this list.

So there’s my list, of slightly over 30 things that I’m thankful for this season, and I’m sure it doesn’t even cover everything, but it’s a start.  Thank you for reading and I’ll see you on the next post.