it's okay to keep reading, I'm not going to actually post a photo... just a little commentary on the phenomenon that struck social media a couple months ago... yeah, I'm late to the game... no I'm not participating (or even really sitting on the sidelines cheering people on).
Anyway... when I started hearing about the hashtag trending over social media I was dumbfounded. Not only was I unable to comprehend why it was trending, I was sad that the world is turning into a place where there is no privacy, nothing is special, and there is no real one on one intimacy anymore, we have literally invited the world into our bed. Why would anyone want to share that? Why would anyone want to see that? Are you REALLY so connected to your online persona that after sex that the first thing you think of is photographically documenting it for prosperity and public consumption? Seriously... why?????
Then one morning I got it. Well a tiny part of it anyway. I still don't understand the need to share that moment with the masses, but what I totally 100% understand is the want to preserve that feeling of intimacy. I can completely wrap my mind around wanting to have visual evidence of that perfect moment. Everyone has bad days and maybe having an opportunity to look back on a time when you felt that fantastic could cure even the worst moods.
Then the cold hard truth of reality sets in and I think about the birds nest my hair probably is, the makeup smeared all over my face, and remember exactly why some moments are better lived than captured in digital pixels forever. I love retreating to fantasy land and relive those feelings just like anyone else would, thankfully I have a vivid imagination and don't need a photo app to remember.
Saturday, April 18, 2015
Thursday, March 12, 2015
Look Ma! No Hands!
It has been awhile since I posted something more than an album review, dream journal, or something light on content but big on giggles. Let me catch you up.
Shortly after Christmas my awesome-amazing boyfriend asked to officially move in with him. I think I've put longer thought into picking out what color nail polish I want to buy, I immediately said yes (it was the easiest decision I've ever had to make and every day I'm so thankful for this life I'm living), gave my landlord 30 days notice, and started moving things to his house, I mean our house (it took awhile for me to get the hang of saying it). I was all in within 2 weekends (it was too hard to try to move during the week).
Let me tell you.... living in sin is the best thing ever. For me there didn't really even seem to be any growing pains, it just feels like home. He does most of the cooking, I do most of the laundry, and we share the other cleaning chores, they get done as they need to. Everything seems to be falling in place. I never thought living with someone else would be so easy, I don't know what I thought it would be like, this is the first time I've ever lived with a boyfriend, and I'm glad he's the one I'm experiencing all this new stuff with. My family loves him (which is a great feeling). We have a cute little dog named Bugsy, we spoil him rotten...he's like having a 3rd person in the house half the time.
So that's the big life update. I don't think I've ever been this happy and relaxed in a relationship. I'm not constantly waiting for the other shoe to drop or for some dramatic disaster to happen. It just feels good to have a true partner, not just someone who is there for the moment. For the first time in my life I feel like a real adult, not a kid in a grown up body. It's not nearly as scary as I thought it would be.
Another update is that today I decided to become a Partner in Hope. I signed up to give a monthly donation to St. Jude's Children's hospital. I've had a nagging feeling for a long time that I need to become involved in something that is bigger than me and my personal world, but I didn't know where to start. This morning on the drive to work one of the local radio stations was hosting a radiothon to raise money for the hospital and I was moved to donate. I can't afford to give a lot, but I can afford to give what I used to spend on a monthly sample subscription. If you want to become a Partner in Hope you can follow the link and help battle childhood cancer. If you can't afford to donate money, maybe you can find a cause that speaks to you and you can donate your time, and if you don't have time or money (hey we've all been there, no judgment) you can share links on how to help your cause of choice, maybe you'll inspire one of your friends to help out in any way they can.
Shortly after Christmas my awesome-amazing boyfriend asked to officially move in with him. I think I've put longer thought into picking out what color nail polish I want to buy, I immediately said yes (it was the easiest decision I've ever had to make and every day I'm so thankful for this life I'm living), gave my landlord 30 days notice, and started moving things to his house, I mean our house (it took awhile for me to get the hang of saying it). I was all in within 2 weekends (it was too hard to try to move during the week).Let me tell you.... living in sin is the best thing ever. For me there didn't really even seem to be any growing pains, it just feels like home. He does most of the cooking, I do most of the laundry, and we share the other cleaning chores, they get done as they need to. Everything seems to be falling in place. I never thought living with someone else would be so easy, I don't know what I thought it would be like, this is the first time I've ever lived with a boyfriend, and I'm glad he's the one I'm experiencing all this new stuff with. My family loves him (which is a great feeling). We have a cute little dog named Bugsy, we spoil him rotten...he's like having a 3rd person in the house half the time.So that's the big life update. I don't think I've ever been this happy and relaxed in a relationship. I'm not constantly waiting for the other shoe to drop or for some dramatic disaster to happen. It just feels good to have a true partner, not just someone who is there for the moment. For the first time in my life I feel like a real adult, not a kid in a grown up body. It's not nearly as scary as I thought it would be.
Another update is that today I decided to become a Partner in Hope. I signed up to give a monthly donation to St. Jude's Children's hospital. I've had a nagging feeling for a long time that I need to become involved in something that is bigger than me and my personal world, but I didn't know where to start. This morning on the drive to work one of the local radio stations was hosting a radiothon to raise money for the hospital and I was moved to donate. I can't afford to give a lot, but I can afford to give what I used to spend on a monthly sample subscription. If you want to become a Partner in Hope you can follow the link and help battle childhood cancer. If you can't afford to donate money, maybe you can find a cause that speaks to you and you can donate your time, and if you don't have time or money (hey we've all been there, no judgment) you can share links on how to help your cause of choice, maybe you'll inspire one of your friends to help out in any way they can.
Monday, February 23, 2015
Dream State Escalate: 48
Last night's dream/nightmare was so bad. SO BAD. SO INCREDIBLY BAD. Enough where I grabbed onto my BF like my life depended on it and started reciting prayers from back in my CCD days to pull the darkness out of my eyes as if my soul depended on it.
Now the dream...
We were working at a winery event as we have done a few times in the past together when this really upset/disheveled strange woman rushes up to us and tries to force a Tupperware container full of a strange looking meat at my BF, she keeps insisting through her tears that he has to cook it and eat it immediately. I stand between them and try to take the container away from her and the thing burns my hand like it's covered in acid. I set it on a table behind us and demand that she tell us what it is.
She starts sobbing how she didn't mean to do it, how she couldn't stop herself, but the voices in her head told her she had to make a sacrifice. She killed her dog, a bull terrier, by luring it outside on a patio and slitting it's throat then taking it's tongue... that's what was in the container. She knew that she had done wrong, that she had betrayed her best friend, 1st by killing him when he had done nothing wrong, 2nd by leaving him to die alone and in pain. She wanted to pass the demon that had possessed her on by making my BF unwittingly eat her "sacrifice." I told her that there was NO WAY he was going to consume that and that we needed to bury it on consecrated grounds. That she had to bring her dog and the pieces she had cut from him and we had to bury it at the church where the demon couldn't follow.
I woke up as the last shovel of dirt buried the dog completely, but I couldn't see clearly, it was like there was a black fog in the room trying to block my eyes. I couldn't remember the words to the prayers, but I figured the plea for help and my intentions would have to be good enough. I held on to BF and my dog and just waited for my eyes to clear. Eventually I was able to go back to sleep, but it was a restless night. I don't know what was going on but it was enough to still give me chills when I think about it.
Now the dream...
We were working at a winery event as we have done a few times in the past together when this really upset/disheveled strange woman rushes up to us and tries to force a Tupperware container full of a strange looking meat at my BF, she keeps insisting through her tears that he has to cook it and eat it immediately. I stand between them and try to take the container away from her and the thing burns my hand like it's covered in acid. I set it on a table behind us and demand that she tell us what it is.
She starts sobbing how she didn't mean to do it, how she couldn't stop herself, but the voices in her head told her she had to make a sacrifice. She killed her dog, a bull terrier, by luring it outside on a patio and slitting it's throat then taking it's tongue... that's what was in the container. She knew that she had done wrong, that she had betrayed her best friend, 1st by killing him when he had done nothing wrong, 2nd by leaving him to die alone and in pain. She wanted to pass the demon that had possessed her on by making my BF unwittingly eat her "sacrifice." I told her that there was NO WAY he was going to consume that and that we needed to bury it on consecrated grounds. That she had to bring her dog and the pieces she had cut from him and we had to bury it at the church where the demon couldn't follow.
I woke up as the last shovel of dirt buried the dog completely, but I couldn't see clearly, it was like there was a black fog in the room trying to block my eyes. I couldn't remember the words to the prayers, but I figured the plea for help and my intentions would have to be good enough. I held on to BF and my dog and just waited for my eyes to clear. Eventually I was able to go back to sleep, but it was a restless night. I don't know what was going on but it was enough to still give me chills when I think about it.
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